Bert Kreischer Reveals His 50-pound Weight Loss and Sobriety Training for the 2 Bears 5K
For years, Bert Kreischer built an empire around chaos. Storytelling, late-night partying, and “The Machine” persona turned him into one of comedy’s most recognizable characters. But entering this year’s 2 Bears 5K with fellow comedian Tom Segura, Kreischer says something feels completely different.
Ironically, the event itself started almost by accident.
“To be honest with you, the funny thing is that we had nothing to talk about that day,” Kreischer said with a laugh. “Tom decided to run a 5K back in his hometown, and I was already doing marathons, Tough Mudders, you name it.”
What started as podcast banter eventually evolved into a full-fledged community fitness event built around comedy, running, and fan engagement. But beneath the humor was the real goal.
“Tom and I were getting better and we wanted our fans to be healthy,” Kreischer explained. “Your fans were like you, and our fans were all big men with beards married to inappropriate chicks. We thought, ‘We need these guys healthy so we can still have fans in our 60s.’
Community over competition
There is no overly structured breakdown that guides his workouts on the road, and there is no obsession with tracking every rep or chasing numbers for the sake of progress. Instead, his training method is completely shaped by what is available at the moment and what is relevant to the realities and needs of the day. Flexibility becomes structure.
“Most days it’s a quick thing,” he explains. “I’ll run, do 30 minutes on the StairMaster, or climb if there’s a gym.”
It’s easy to design. Nothing about it is meant to be flashy or overly complicated. In travel, the goal is to change the body and become more active. “It’s not fancy,” he adds thoughtfully, “but it works.”
When he is at home, the whole rhythm changes.
“That’s where I really come in,” he says. Five days a week.”
At home, the structure returns in an impossible way from the street. His training is strategic. Basketball sessions bring back the competitive foundation on which he built his identity, while lifting sessions add strength and a conditioning factor that supports everything else he does.
He adds: “You just learn to adapt. “That’s a big thing.”
That difference between the two is intentional. It prevents corrosion while also protecting him from overtraining in a demanding lifestyle.
Inside Bert Kreischer’s 50-Pound Transformation
For the first time since the 2 Bears 5K began, Kreischer says he’s entering the event drunk. Doing so, he admits, fundamentally changed both his preparation and his mindset heading into race day. In years past, the comedian used to approach the race with the same carefree energy that defined much of his public persona, joking freely about drinking leading up to the event and relying more on adrenaline and humor than formal preparation.
“Every other Two Bears 5K I’ve been drinking up until this one,” he admits. “This is the first one.”
This year’s decision to give up alcohol comes after Kreischer faced serious blood clots in his lungs and legs, an experience he described as a major awakening that forced him to reevaluate all aspects of his life and lifestyle. Rather than cleaning things up for a while, Kreischer says a health scare pushed her to overhaul her routine, from training and recovery to sleep, hydration and healthy lifestyle habits.
“I’ve changed everything,” he says. “I sleep, like, 10 hours a night. I’m working harder than ever. My headspace is amazing.”
As part of his transformation, Kreischer also openly discussed using Mounjaro and testosterone, explaining that the combination, along with constant training and lifestyle changes, helped him lose about 50 pounds from the beginning of the process. More importantly, she says the physical changes have rekindled her motivation to get fit like never before.
“When you see a difference in your body, exercise becomes fun,” he explains. “You want to continue.”
That renewed motivation has translated directly into his athletic performance. Kreischer says she is currently running harder than ever in preparation for the event and is starting to see milestones that were once out of reach.
“I’d be shocked if I didn’t stop for 30 minutes,” Kreischer said. “I felt my abs flex the other day and I went, ‘Oh, that’s what you should feel.’
How Sobriety Changed Bert Kreischer’s Training
Kreischer says one of the most noticeable differences throughout the process has been improvements in her recovery, quality of sleep, and overall energy levels. All three were places where he admitted they were often neglected during years of constant touring, drinking, and late nights. Now, with alcohol removed from the equation, she says her body feels very different physically and mentally.
“I sleep amazingly well,” she says. “I exercise every day and drink 160 ounces of water a day. I’m tired.”
For someone whose public image has long been associated with partying and excess, Kreischer admits that the lifestyle overhaul has completely reshaped the way he approaches training and everyday wellness. He says the consistency of sleeping around 10 hours a night, staying in the water, and training regularly has allowed him to feel sharper, lighter, and more motivated than ever before.
Still, even amid the healthy lifestyle changes, Kreischer jokes that one weakness continues to plague his discipline: cookies.
“The only thing that bothers me right now is cookies,” he said with a laugh. “I’m totally into cookies right now.”
The conversation quickly turned to a passionate, and unexpectedly detailed, breakdown of the soft batch cookies and their impact on her childhood. Kreischer fondly remembers how the release of soft cookies in the early 1980s changed the snack game compared to the hard cookies he grew up eating.
“Soft batch cookies changed the game in 1983,” he says. “My mouth is watering now.”
The Race of Belief is Completely Mental
Although the race is all about fun, Kreischer believes the endurance events ultimately come to mind.
When asked who might start fast and fall mid-race, he quickly pointed to Segura.
“Tom is more likely to start out strong and then fall dramatically,” Kreischer said. “Running makes perfect sense. Mentally, I’m high.”
Still, Kreischer says the funniest moments happen before the race even starts.
“The introduction is the funniest part,” he said. “Everything that everybody says before the gun goes off, that’s what makes you laugh the most.”
However, when the competition begins, the tone changes.
“Finally, there’s this real moment of fulfillment,” Kreischer explained. “Everyone is happy.”
Claim Fan Prizes at the 2 Bears 5K
At its core, Kreischer says the event has always been about getting people moving, regardless of speed or fitness level.
“Our goal is to get people off the couch,” he said. “Take the people out. Put the people in the sunlight.”
And while celebrity guests, live podcasts, and unexpected chaos have become part of the culture, Kreischer says the most important part is still coming to the finish line.
He says: “The first thing I do is look for my wife. “I want to hug her and thank her for all the years of support.”
After that?
“Maybe a cigarette,” he said with a smile.
